Saturday, October 23, 2010

Man Up, Mama

I'm pretty sure that my neighbors have called child protective services on me today.

You see, Mackenzie has learned to make some new sounds this week, and they're just plain frightening.
She's got the fake, attention-grabbing cough down pat.
So to anyone who's not privy to her little charade it may seem as if I'm standing idly by while she chokes.
She's also managed to create a sensational scream that sends me running to her side in a total panic... only to discover that she's actually fine and will someday become an excellent actress. 
So now I'm aware of the fact that she's a big phony and just wants to be coddled all day (so I can't pee, eat, or breathe without her attached to me). But other people don't know she's faking.
Inevitably she wins.
I can't possibly let the entire neighborhood think I'm neglecting my child, can I?
I've toyed with the idea and my simple conclusion is no.
That said, this game has continued for the better part of the week and I've just about had it.
I've spent most of today asking Mackenzie why she's bullying mommy and if she thinks it's funny to watch her own mother teeter on the brink of a nervous breakdown.
I'm still waiting for her to answer.
So far she's only given me the stink eye. Five seconds later she's scrunching her nose and giggling and it damn near melts my heart.
I've been telling myself to stay strong, to not be broken, to man up and call her bluff. 
But at the end of the day it's Mackenzie's world and I'm just living in it.

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