Thursday, September 29, 2011

Finding Balance

I'm hating this Indian summer we're having.  I'm anxious for the air to turn crisp and cool and for the leaves to change colors.  But inevitably autumn will give way to winter and I'll soon be complaining about frigid temperatures and bare trees.  
Then I'm really screwed.  
This child of mine needs to be free.  Free to run and climb and roll and fall.  She needs to spin in circles until she's too dizzy to stand.  She needs more than what the four walls of my home have to offer.  

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Rolling Stones Were Right...

You can't always get what you want.  

This is especially true for mothers.
When our babies are born we want nothing more than to hear them cry.  Then we spend the next several years hoping they'll never do it again.
We complain that we never get any time to ourselves.  When we finally do, we spend the majority of it thinking about our kids.
We desperately want our husbands' help.  But as soon as we get it we're frustrated by the fact that they don't do things exactly as we do.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

The 5 Most Annoying People At The Grocery Store


* Why he's annoying: 
He tries to come off as lonely and charming but in reality you wonder if you should call the cops on him.   It's just a little weird when he slowly approaches your cart and remarks that there are "so many beautiful babies at the store today".
* What he's wearing: 
A flannel shirt, unbuttoned.  A dingy undershirt.  A pair of grimy khakis.  His slippers. 
* Spotted in his cart: 
Two bananas and a 6-pack of Pabst.  

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

So You Think Your Kid Is A Genius?

I was so proud of Mackenzie after her 15 month checkup last week.  The pediatrician was absolutely floored when I told him how many words she had mastered in the past several months.  I left the office with my head held high, my nose slightly turned up in the air.  
I thought... My kid is a genius! 
I began this week with a little swagger in my step after another mother complimented Mackenzie on how well she was getting around at the playground.  "She's so mobile for a 15-month-old," the other mother mused.  
I thought... Yep! Genius! 
And as I left my own doctor's appointment today I actually started to gloat when my physician acknowledged how smart Mackenzie is.  
I thought... Holy cow! This kid is special.  She's going places.  Ivy League all the way! 
Then the parenting gods descended and smacked some sense into me.  


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Beacons of Hope

True story... 
A little girl comes home from her first day of kindergarten and proclaims that the Jonas Brothers are "SO hot". 
Her mother asks where she heard that.  
The daughter responds that a girl in her class -- whose sister is a freshman in high school -- told her all about the Jonas Brothers.    
The mother asks her daughter if she knows what it means that the Jonas Brothers are "SO hot".  
The daughter says she isn't so sure, but she guesses that it must mean they don't have any air conditioning. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

So Help Me God

The president takes an oath of office.  Doctors, the Hippocratic oath.  Members of the Armed Forces, an enlistment oath.  And yet the women responsible for raising future leaders need not make any promises that they will carry out their duties responsibly and ethically.
Seems sort of strange, doesn't it?
The sad truth is that anyone can become a mother.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

It's a Girl!

As much as it used to irk me to have people mistake Mackenzie for a boy, I can actually understand the mix up.  It was an honest mistake.  She had no hair and I wasn't one for dressing her in head-to-toe pink with burgeoning floral head bands and poofy hair ribbons.  I would get annoyed when people asked how old my son was or when they told me I had such a cute little boy, but it was partly my own fault.  

Friday, September 2, 2011

Baby On Bored

I personally think it's totally normal to become bored with your baby.  
It's not a matter of losing interest in him or her, it has more to do with the fact that as a SAHM you're with them 24/7 and life with an infant or toddler can get pretty monotonous pretty quickly.