The 5 Scariest Things About Halloween This Year

1. My zombie walk to the crib at 4 a.m.
2. Not being able to tell if Mackenzie is breathing when she sleeps on her stomach
3. The massive poop that comes after her morning banana
4. The amount of candy I've already eaten
5. The fact that I can already picture the day when my daughter wants to dress up as a sexy cat, a sexy cop, a sexy Snow White, or a sexy pirate (NOT. HAPPENING.)