Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Men Are From Mars...

My brother-in-law recently told me that he never would've known just how different the sexes are had he not had both a son and a daughter. 
For someone who's from a family of girls, I'm pretty naive when it comes to raising a boy.  And the more I talk to moms of males, the more I realize just how in over my head I'll be.  
Here's what I'm dreading... 

Monday, November 21, 2011

I Finally Get To Dress A Boy

I'm a girly girl.  Like, a really girly girl.  
I've worn numerous tutus. 
I don't like the dirt. 
I can't quote a single line from "Dumb & Dumber".  
So when I found out that I was having a girl two years ago I was super excited.  I had visions of tulle and pixie dust and unicorns.  I decided to go all out with Mackenzie's nursery and channel Barbie through and through.   

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

10 Reasons I Hate The Playground

Tot Lot. 
Jungle Gym.  
You can call it whatever you want.  
I'll still hate it.  
I never quite understood why mothers of older kids would get so huffy when they passed a park with monkey bars and swings and slides that seemed to scream, "Come play! It's FUN in here."
Maybe back in the day when you were a carefree kid with no fear whatsoever.  When someone ELSE was there to break your fall and make sure you got a fair turn on the seesaw.  Maybe it was FUN after a few beers and God knows what else back in college.  
But once you become a parent going to the playground is pure torture.  

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Just Your Typical Lunch Date

Temper tantrums.
They'll test a parent's limits like nothing else will.  And since my patience runs low on a good day, a bad tantrum is guaranteed to send me over the edge.
Especially a public one.
For me, the only thing worse than someone eyeing me with evil judgment during a tantrum is someone who tries to help during one. Today that someone happened to be toting an oxygen tank. 
That bit of detail is crucial to this story. Because clearly there's nothing more comforting for a screaming, irrational toddler than being approached by a total stranger with tubes up her nose.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

10 Signs I'm Just. Plain. Tired.

This second pregnancy is really kicking my ass. I thought things were tough the first time around but everything seems to be taking more of a toll on me with this baby. And despite the fact that I'm in the "good" trimester - if such a thing exists - I still feel like I've been run over by a truck most of the time.
I honestly don't even remember being this tired when Mackenzie was a newborn and had her days and nights mixed up.
The worst part is that I'm actually sleeping. It's not that I'm constantly feeling hungover because I'm up all night tossing and turning or because Mackenzie is waking up too early.
These kids - the one running me in circles all day and the one who has yet to make an appearance - are just sucking every last ounce of energy out of me.
In the past week I've started to notice some whackadoodle behavior that proves I'm the most exhausted I've ever been...

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A Pregnant Woman Walks Into A Grocery Store...

No... this is not a joke.   

Nicole Leszczynski and her husband Marcin recently relocated from California to Hawaii.  Late last week they got lost while searching for a grocery store with their toddler, Zofia.  They finally stumbled upon a local Safeway where they bought approximately $50 in groceries.  Nicole Leszczynski -- 30 weeks pregnant -- was famished by the time they reached the store so she and her husband picked up two chicken sandwiches to eat while shopping.  They saved the wrappers but they weren't scanned upon check out.  The couple was questioned by store security and subsequently arrested for theft, despite their insistence that the whole thing was simply an oversight.  Their daughter was taken by Child Protective Services for 18 hours until the Leszczynski's were released on bail.  Safeway has since dropped the charges and has issued an apology