* Don't put your hand down your diaper
* We don't eat our boogies
* What did we say about kicking the door?
* Chairs aren't for standing
* What is your problem!?!?!?!
* Stop touching your pee pee
* Just go to sleep!
* Leave your brother alone, he's not a doll
* Elmo is taking a break
* Oh boy! Broccoli candy!
* Your shoes are on the wrong feet but good try
* You're okay, that wasn't a bad fall
* You can't follow the exterminator around calling him Bug Man
* Did you poop?
* Stop whining!
* Let's calm down a little bit
* Don't put that in your mouth
* Are you kidding me?!?!?!
* Stop climbing on the ____
* Is it bedtime yet?
Monday, May 14, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
Somewhere Between Tummy Time and Potty Time
Somewhere between tummy time and potty time you'll find me...
* Tripping over toys
* Nursing during a tea party
* Drowning in laundry
* Plotting an escape
* Lying spread eagle at the Obgyn with one child projectile spitting up and the other trying to get a good look at what's going on between the stirrups
* Scouring Pinterest for anything that will a) keep my toddler preoccupied for 30 minutes and b) get my toddler to like broccoli again
* Wondering if I've forgotten any thank you cards
* Trying to plan a birthday party
* Cursing the people who don't hold the door for a woman lugging a car seat and dragging a distracted 2-year-old by the sleeve... As if chivalry and basic human decency automatically die as soon as someone decides to have more than one child... Like these people are trying to teach me a lesson or something
* Musing at how my eyebrows have been so terribly neglected that they now resemble a prepubescent boy's mustache
* Counting the seconds until tummy time (aka baby torture) concludes
* Pumping while preparing breakfast and washing dishes
* Unclipping every piece of baby gear that Mackenzie has fastened shut
* Drowning in more laundry
* Attempting to mop up the regurgitated breast milk that has pooled in my cleavage
* Searching for time to brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, and blog
* Hating the Kay Jewelers commercial featuring a perfect looking, well rested couple with a newborn. Those two are much too enthusiastic about getting up to feed their baby and neither one looks the least bit sleep deprived.
* Wondering where Mackenzie gets her energy and trying to figure out what happened to my own
* Forcing myself to remember that everything is just a phase
* Changing too many diapers
* Sitting patiently while Mackenzie tries to pee in the potty and making sure not to get too annoyed when she falls into the bowl (she doesn't want to use her toddler size seat, go figure)
* Trying to maintain a semblance of sanity
Mommy readers... where are YOU?
* Tripping over toys
* Nursing during a tea party
* Drowning in laundry
* Plotting an escape
* Lying spread eagle at the Obgyn with one child projectile spitting up and the other trying to get a good look at what's going on between the stirrups
* Scouring Pinterest for anything that will a) keep my toddler preoccupied for 30 minutes and b) get my toddler to like broccoli again
* Wondering if I've forgotten any thank you cards
* Trying to plan a birthday party
* Cursing the people who don't hold the door for a woman lugging a car seat and dragging a distracted 2-year-old by the sleeve... As if chivalry and basic human decency automatically die as soon as someone decides to have more than one child... Like these people are trying to teach me a lesson or something
* Musing at how my eyebrows have been so terribly neglected that they now resemble a prepubescent boy's mustache
* Counting the seconds until tummy time (aka baby torture) concludes
* Pumping while preparing breakfast and washing dishes
* Unclipping every piece of baby gear that Mackenzie has fastened shut
* Drowning in more laundry
* Attempting to mop up the regurgitated breast milk that has pooled in my cleavage
* Searching for time to brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, and blog
* Hating the Kay Jewelers commercial featuring a perfect looking, well rested couple with a newborn. Those two are much too enthusiastic about getting up to feed their baby and neither one looks the least bit sleep deprived.
* Wondering where Mackenzie gets her energy and trying to figure out what happened to my own
* Forcing myself to remember that everything is just a phase
* Changing too many diapers
* Sitting patiently while Mackenzie tries to pee in the potty and making sure not to get too annoyed when she falls into the bowl (she doesn't want to use her toddler size seat, go figure)
* Trying to maintain a semblance of sanity
Mommy readers... where are YOU?
Sunday, April 29, 2012
It Takes Two
Never did I think that having a second child could make me twice the lunatic I already was. But at this point in my life nothing seems more true than this: kids make us crazy.
In fact, I'm starting to believe that children are put on this earth to slowly and painfully send their parents into a state of sheer madness. Thus, the circle of life. We drive our makers to lunacy, only to be repaid the same gesture by our offspring.
Have your kids pushed you to the point of "certifiable"?
Mine have... And the youngest is only a month old.
In fact, I'm starting to believe that children are put on this earth to slowly and painfully send their parents into a state of sheer madness. Thus, the circle of life. We drive our makers to lunacy, only to be repaid the same gesture by our offspring.
Have your kids pushed you to the point of "certifiable"?
Mine have... And the youngest is only a month old.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Just What I Needed
Yesterday Mackenzie told me I was the best mommy in the whole world.
I think Doug may have bribed her with candy.
Either way, it was exactly what I needed.
For some stupid reason a part of me thought that having a second child would be easy. Or at least easier than it was to have the first child.
I think Doug may have bribed her with candy.
Either way, it was exactly what I needed.
For some stupid reason a part of me thought that having a second child would be easy. Or at least easier than it was to have the first child.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Somebody To Lean On
Nobody said it was easy.
Sure, anyone can become a parent. THAT'S the simple part.
Being a GOOD parent is what's difficult. A parent who is patient when their child wants to sit on the potty forever but only produces a little bit of gas. A parent who drops everything to attend a tea party with the cast of Sesame Street. A parent who - despite sheer exhaustion - will spend hours curled up on the floor whispering story after story to a restless toddler who refuses to sleep.
Sure, anyone can become a parent. THAT'S the simple part.
Being a GOOD parent is what's difficult. A parent who is patient when their child wants to sit on the potty forever but only produces a little bit of gas. A parent who drops everything to attend a tea party with the cast of Sesame Street. A parent who - despite sheer exhaustion - will spend hours curled up on the floor whispering story after story to a restless toddler who refuses to sleep.
Friday, March 30, 2012
A Mommy Is Made Again
I'm a planner.
A former news producer.
The type of person who makes lists for other lists for more lists.
My wedding was choreographed to the T -- the DJ was provided a laminated set list and the catering director was given a 3-ring binder outlining the day's events. There were footnotes and asterisks galore.
So naturally when I was "blessed" with a scheduled C-section for this pregnancy, I was elated to have an opportunity to once again put on my producer shoes.
There was a plan in place to ensure that Mackenzie was properly taken care of, that every nook and cranny in my house had been cleaned, that my fridge was abundantly stocked and -- most importantly -- that my toes were perfectly manicured.
As it turns out, nature is the mother of all mothers and Baby # 2 was determined to make his entrance into the world 16 days earlier than his due date and nine days before his scheduled Cesarean birth. All the planning -- regardless of the producer's attention to detail and despite her controlling manner -- went flying out the window as fast as labor progressed.
Braden Douglas Rohrbeck's early arrival meant having our neighbor run over to stay with Mackenzie until my parents arrived, dust bunnies lingering in corners, more condiments than milk in our fridge, and chipped polish on my toenails... a fact I lamented on the operating table as the Obgyn starting cutting.
Alas, all was forgotten once I heard that cry. Tears of joy filled my eyes as my son was lifted in the air all naked and exposed and perfect.
My biggest fear throughout this pregnancy was that I wouldn't have enough love to go around. How can anyone or anything replace the adoration you have for your first born? How do you carry enough love to share it equally among your children? How can the second ever be as special as the first?
My love for Braden began long before he made his grand entrance into the world. There's nothing quite like the experience you have as a mother carrying your baby in the womb. The bond you feel is instantaneous and only grows stronger with time. But I still had my doubts. How would I ever be able to love someone the way I love Mackenzie?
As I held Braden for the first time I realized that -- indeed -- we are built with an unlimited capacity for unconditional, unwavering, undying love for all of our children. The only thing that changes with a new baby is the size of our hearts, which make room for more love.
A former news producer.
The type of person who makes lists for other lists for more lists.
My wedding was choreographed to the T -- the DJ was provided a laminated set list and the catering director was given a 3-ring binder outlining the day's events. There were footnotes and asterisks galore.
So naturally when I was "blessed" with a scheduled C-section for this pregnancy, I was elated to have an opportunity to once again put on my producer shoes.
There was a plan in place to ensure that Mackenzie was properly taken care of, that every nook and cranny in my house had been cleaned, that my fridge was abundantly stocked and -- most importantly -- that my toes were perfectly manicured.
As it turns out, nature is the mother of all mothers and Baby # 2 was determined to make his entrance into the world 16 days earlier than his due date and nine days before his scheduled Cesarean birth. All the planning -- regardless of the producer's attention to detail and despite her controlling manner -- went flying out the window as fast as labor progressed.
Braden Douglas Rohrbeck's early arrival meant having our neighbor run over to stay with Mackenzie until my parents arrived, dust bunnies lingering in corners, more condiments than milk in our fridge, and chipped polish on my toenails... a fact I lamented on the operating table as the Obgyn starting cutting.
Alas, all was forgotten once I heard that cry. Tears of joy filled my eyes as my son was lifted in the air all naked and exposed and perfect.
My biggest fear throughout this pregnancy was that I wouldn't have enough love to go around. How can anyone or anything replace the adoration you have for your first born? How do you carry enough love to share it equally among your children? How can the second ever be as special as the first?
My love for Braden began long before he made his grand entrance into the world. There's nothing quite like the experience you have as a mother carrying your baby in the womb. The bond you feel is instantaneous and only grows stronger with time. But I still had my doubts. How would I ever be able to love someone the way I love Mackenzie?
As I held Braden for the first time I realized that -- indeed -- we are built with an unlimited capacity for unconditional, unwavering, undying love for all of our children. The only thing that changes with a new baby is the size of our hearts, which make room for more love.
Monday, March 26, 2012
10 Reasons My Hospital Stay Will Be Like a Vacation
1) Catheter = No need to get up and pee every 10 minutes.
2) When else will I be able to stay in bed all day long?
3) Pudding, Jell-O, ice pops
4) Doug will be on diaper duty for at least the first 48 hours.
5) I won't have to bathe anyone... Including myself.
6) The meds are amazing.
7) No laundry, no dishes, no fixing dinner, no cleaning up toys
8) The only nap time I have to worry about is my own.
9) I can wear my "sick pants" and no one will judge me.
10) Disposable underwear, baby. Yeah!
2) When else will I be able to stay in bed all day long?
3) Pudding, Jell-O, ice pops
4) Doug will be on diaper duty for at least the first 48 hours.
5) I won't have to bathe anyone... Including myself.
6) The meds are amazing.
7) No laundry, no dishes, no fixing dinner, no cleaning up toys
8) The only nap time I have to worry about is my own.
9) I can wear my "sick pants" and no one will judge me.
10) Disposable underwear, baby. Yeah!
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