Friday, October 7, 2011

I Scared A Pregnant Woman

I recently caught up with a friend who's expecting her first child in December.  
She's the perfect pregnant girl: all belly, radiating a healthy glow, and eager and excited about becoming a mother.  
I was flattered when she asked for advice and welcomed my parenting tips.  
But I'm the kind of friend who tells the truth, so in hindsight she may regret even speaking to me in the first place. 
A word of wisdom, folks... NEVER be 100% honest with a mom-to-be.  It's just not fair. 

* DON'T talk about how the back pain and swelling only get worse as you approach D-Day.
* DON'T elaborate on the gross details of labor and delivery.  Even if they ask. 
* DON'T discuss the shock that results from a slew of hormones leaving your body postpartum.  
* DON'T let them know how much time you spent crying. 
* DON'T share horror stories about night waking. 
* DON'T feel the need to go on and on about sore nipples and pelvic pain. 
* DON'T remind them how long it can take to get back into normal pants. 
* DON'T be honest when they ask how painful labor is.
* DON'T scare them with tales of botched epidurals, emergency c-sections, or multiple episiotomies.  
* DON'T tell them that it doesn't get easier, it just gets "different".  

After basically scaring the maternity pants right off my friend, I left her with an obligatory, "But it really is the BEST thing ever."  
As I walked away I thought about that statement, and how it truly is the honest to God truth.  Maybe that's why I've committed to doing this all over again just six short months from now.  


  1. I'm honest, almost to a fault. And I didn't hold back in my new-mom stories. However, I now look at some of my new mommy friends and how they've handled the transition with ease (triplet mom about to head back to work and hasn't lost her cool once...what?!?!?!). Maybe I did share too much info. Maybe it was me that had the hard time. But we're all different and handle things as such. And now I find myself as the mom who keeps everything sweet, wonderful, and simple, yet find great comfort when someone else is just as honest as me:) I could add a few things to your list...DON'T tell them that your husband might become a complete stranger; DON'T tell them you might actually understand how someone could shake a baby. DON'T tell them that nursing/pumping isn't all wonderful and is plain HARD. DON'T tell them about the post partum stomach mashing after delivery. Good God.

    So you're expecting again I take it? CONGRATS!

    And I agree...being a mom and relishing in these days (the good, bad, and ugly) really is the best thing ever:)


  2. Thanks Krissy - That is SO true about the husband thing :)