Wednesday, September 14, 2011

So You Think Your Kid Is A Genius?

I was so proud of Mackenzie after her 15 month checkup last week.  The pediatrician was absolutely floored when I told him how many words she had mastered in the past several months.  I left the office with my head held high, my nose slightly turned up in the air.  
I thought... My kid is a genius! 
I began this week with a little swagger in my step after another mother complimented Mackenzie on how well she was getting around at the playground.  "She's so mobile for a 15-month-old," the other mother mused.  
I thought... Yep! Genius! 
And as I left my own doctor's appointment today I actually started to gloat when my physician acknowledged how smart Mackenzie is.  
I thought... Holy cow! This kid is special.  She's going places.  Ivy League all the way! 
Then the parenting gods descended and smacked some sense into me.  


As I started daydreaming on the car ride home, imaging Mackenzie's valedictorian speech and piecing together bits of her Pulitzer acceptance, it occurred to me that while my precious little daughter is truly smart, she is no Einstein.  
How do I know for sure? 

* The other day I had to stop her from licking citronella candles.  FIVE TIMES.  
* She enjoys climbing into the freezer... and staying there... freezing.
* The other day she peed on Doug's leg like it was a perfectly normal human thing to do.  
* While she knows enough to grab my towel for me at the end of my shower (very impressive, I must say) she also enjoys throwing dry towels into filled bath tubs.  
* The other day she managed to pull the stroller down on herself, fall over the vacuum, walk into the washing machine door, and trip over her own feet.  
* She thinks all fruits are apples.  
* While she's bright enough to understand where her nose is, she's also very capable of picking it in public.  
* She seems to think there's nutritional value in diapers. 
* She knows that cats say "meow" and dogs say "ruff" but recently saw a picture of Rihanna and said, "Mama".
* She thinks that kicking and screaming will get her what she wants.  HA.  NICE TRY, KID.  Wait a minute... Maybe she is a genius.  


  1. Dominque -- this is laugh-out-loud funny. I especially like the ones about all fruits being apples (Adam thinks that too!) and about Rihanna being Mama. :) Jordana

  2. Thanks Jordana. Seriously, what is it with apples!?!?