Sunday, September 18, 2011

The 5 Most Annoying People At The Grocery Store

THE CREEPY OLD GUY


* Why he's annoying: 
He tries to come off as lonely and charming but in reality you wonder if you should call the cops on him.   It's just a little weird when he slowly approaches your cart and remarks that there are "so many beautiful babies at the store today".
* What he's wearing: 
A flannel shirt, unbuttoned.  A dingy undershirt.  A pair of grimy khakis.  His slippers. 
* Spotted in his cart: 
Two bananas and a 6-pack of Pabst.  


THE BUSYBODY MOMMY


* Why she's annoying: 
She tracks you through each aisle and observes aloud how hungry your child looks.  When you finally break open a pack of string cheese for your little one she shameless says, "Well I bet that tastes better than the bread bag!"
* What she's wearing: 
Mom jeans, a pair of Crocs, a charity race t-shirt. 
* Spotted in her overflowing cart: 
Six gallons of whole milk, a 12-pack of Coke, brownie mix, Pop-Tarts.


THE CROTCHETY OLD LADY: 


* Why she's annoying: 
Instead of trying to help or simply minding her own business, she opts instead to shake her head in disgust and disapproval when your daughter trips, falls, and smacks her head in the cereal aisle.  
* What she's wearing:
A sweatshirt with a cat appliqué and a pair of "slacks". 
* Spotted in her cart: 
Denture adhesive, rice pudding, Metamucil, hard candy. 


THE UNWED COUPLE: 


* Why they're annoying: 
They think the world is their oyster.  They lazily strut through the aisles with their hands in each other's pockets as if they're taking a walk in the park.  They admire your "adorable" child but really you know they're thinking, "Thank GOD we're not parents".
* What they're wearing: 
Oddly enough she's wearing boyfriend jeans and he's wearing skinny jeans.   She's in a fedora and he's wearing a newsboy cap.  They both have on scarves even though it's 85 degrees outside. 
* Spotted in their cart basket: 
A bottle of wine, some brie, a box of strawberries, a can of whipped cream. 



THE SINGLE WORKING GIRL:
* Why she's annoying: 
She huffs when you stop in front of her to give your kid another cracker.  She rolls her eyes as you present your pile of coupons at the register.  She's practically standing on top of you as you swipe your credit card.   
* What she's wearing: 
A pencil skirt, a v-neck top, strappy heels. 
* Spotted in her cart basket hands: 
A frozen dinner, some fruit from the salad bar, a bottle of Pinot Noir.  
Disclaimer: I used to be her. 

11 comments:

  1. So funny! I was laughing out loud!

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  2. This is indeed a funny post but I think it's understandable that old people need dental adhesives for their dentures.

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  3. Shouldn't you be focusing on your cart more than what others are doing? Especially when a couple is strolling down the aisle, holding hands and picking something they wanted to buy.
    All-on-Four by NewAlbanyImplants

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  4. Sài Gòn ồn ào náo nhiệt giữa thành phố phồn hoa này tìm một không gian yên tĩnh, thư giãn giúp bạn được thả lỏng người tận hưởng khoản khắc yên bình. Thì không quá khó không vì hiện nay có nhiều không gian quán cafe yên tĩnh tại sài gòn với những quán cafe đẹp ở sài gòn được mọi người biết đến với không gian ấm cúng tạo cảm giác gần gũi thân quen.Chắc hẳn sẽ là sự lựa chọn hoàn hảo cho bạn. Hôm nay chúng tôi thiết kế và thi công nội thất giúp bạn chọn lựa không gian thiết kế quán cafe phù hợp với xu hướng hiện nay.

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  5. it's understandable that old people need dental adhesives for their dentures.

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