Wednesday, September 7, 2011

So Help Me God

The president takes an oath of office.  Doctors, the Hippocratic oath.  Members of the Armed Forces, an enlistment oath.  And yet the women responsible for raising future leaders need not make any promises that they will carry out their duties responsibly and ethically.
Seems sort of strange, doesn't it?
The sad truth is that anyone can become a mother.

Now, we all know that there are some women out there who should not be raising children for serious reasons: mothers who are incapable of being responsible for the welfare of their kids due to drug abuse or alcoholism, for example.
But let's focus on the women who are perfectly able to care for their kids, they just choose not to.
I, for one, cannot stand these women.  I want so badly to ask them why they ever decided to have children in the first place.  Why would they endure nine months of getting all fat and stretched out if they wanted to spend the rest of their lives enjoying romantic vacations and peeing in peace? It seems so silly to me.  Why not keep your old life and forgo all the drama that comes with being a mama?
Did these women choose to have kids because it seemed like the natural thing to do?
Did they feel like they needed to have children to fit in with their girlfriends who became mothers?
Were they just looking for a tax break?
Obviously these are all silly and superficial reasons to decide to permanently change your life.  Forever.  
But these women still exist.
They have five nannies but don't have a job outside the home.  They're afraid to touch their own children.  They're not willing to get down on the floor and play with building blocks.  They think the playground is social hour.  They would rather be getting their nails done than kissing boo boos or rubbing aching tummies.
Don't get me wrong.  I love a pedicure as much as the next girl.  I long for a day when I can eat lunch without having to wipe someone else's mouth or use a public bathroom without needing to dance around trying to prevent someone from touching the toilet seat, or the floor, or the tampon disposal.  And I fantasize about a time when I can go to the mall and shop for me and me alone.  But I decided to have a baby because I was ready to put someone else first for a change.  I was ready to dedicate my life to making someone else's even better.
Unfortunately there are some mothers out there who don't see things the same way.  Their children are the reason they don't have a bigger house.  They're why they can't take that lavish vacation they've been dreaming of for years.  Their children are a burden, a nuisance, a hindrance.
And it's because of these women that I think new mothers ought to take an oath before leaving the hospital.  OK, I know this would never happen, obviously.  But in a perfect world it could potentially make a difference.  Maybe these women would think twice before they decided to have children in the first place.  Maybe they would pick up their crying infant instead of letting her wail in the stroller  throughout a trip to the mall.  Maybe rather than blabbing at the park they would actually pay attention to their son and keep him from falling off the monkey bars.  Maybe they would learn that their little boy doesn't really play nice with others and realize that it might be time to work on some social skills.  Or maybe they would put down their Blackberries long enough to witness their baby's first steps.  
Until such an oath of motherhood exists, I'll continue to steer clear of these women, and hope that my kid  is never trampled on by their kid at the playground.  

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