Sunday, September 4, 2011

It's a Girl!

As much as it used to irk me to have people mistake Mackenzie for a boy, I can actually understand the mix up.  It was an honest mistake.  She had no hair and I wasn't one for dressing her in head-to-toe pink with burgeoning floral head bands and poofy hair ribbons.  I would get annoyed when people asked how old my son was or when they told me I had such a cute little boy, but it was partly my own fault.  

Once Mackenzie turned nine months old, she sprouted some locks and started to look more like a little girl.  I realized that I needed to start dressing her for the part.  And while I still shunned anything that was over-the-top, girly-girl, ruffles and lace, I managed to make her look more like a lady and less like a lad.  Still, people would mistake her for a boy constantly.  I don't know who in their right mind would put a pink dress and matching leggings on their son, but lo and behold someone actually called Mackenzie "he" when she was decked out in this outfit:
I was horrified.  But I shook it off.  It was an old woman who commented, "He looks cold."  Maybe she wasn't wearing her glasses.  Maybe she was a little confused.  I couldn't get mad at a nice old lady trying to butt into my business by telling me my kid was cold offer some friendly advice.
Fast forward six months to present day, when Mackenzie -- as far as I'm concerned -- has never looked more like a girl.  I don't think there should be any confusion now, with her curly hair and her feminine face.  But there are still some genuine idiots out there who think she's a boy, and some of those people really take the cake for being rude, insensitive, and downright dumb.
Case in point: The other day we stopped at a coffee kiosk to grab a bottle of water before a doctor's appointment.  The girl behind the register was young, so there's no way I'm giving her a pass for being out of touch or senile.  As I handed her a five dollar bill and waited for change she asked me to turn my "boy" around so she could see him.  
(First and foremost, why are you demanding to see my child? You're weird for that alone.) 
I complied, God knows why.  I maneuvered the stroller in the direction of the cashier, politely telling her that my daughter was in there.  "No, that's a boy," she responded.  I laughed (not a Ha Ha laugh, more like a Shut The Fuck Up laugh) and corrected her again.  But she proceeded to argue with me.  "You're lying," she said.  "That's not a girl."
LYING???? Are you kidding me??? By now there was steam coming out of my ears and it took everything I had not to lunge over the counter and go all "Jersey Shore" on this bitch.  I inhaled deeply and proceeded in a calm and even tone, "I'm not lying.  That is my daughter and she is a girl."  
She looked me squarely in the eye and shrugged, "I say that's a boy." 
She chuckled, handed me my change, and gave Mackenzie a goodbye wave.
I was completely dumbfounded.  I actually froze for several seconds before I was able to push the stroller away and head toward the elevator.  I was so taken aback by what had happened that I actually got completely disoriented and ended up wandering into a supply closet.  When I finally found my bearings I was still so upset I almost turned around so I could confront the cashier.  But what was the point.  She was clearly a dumbass and anything I said or did wouldn't change her mind or her demeanor.  
I regained my composure and went upstairs for my appointment.  Less than a minute after I entered the office an older gentleman complimented me on my adorable son.  I nearly burst into tears.  "What is wrong with people," I thought.  I could barely muster any strength to flash the guy a polite smile.  After all, he was being nice.  Just stupid.  Stupid nice.  
C'mon.  I think most people would agree that my girl looks like a girl.  I may not dress her like she's Alice in Wonderland, but it's not like she's walking around looking like Oliver Twist.  
For the record, Mackenzie was wearing this at the time of the dreaded incident: 
I'm not sure who's putting their little boy in floral print bloomers these days, but more power to them.  


  1. I walked into the MAC store one day and the girl behind the counter said, "Oh you have twins?!" "Yes," I said, "Identical boys." And then she asks, "Are you sure? One looks older than the other." And I say, trying to hide my 'are you dumb as shit' expression, "Um ,older by 60 seconds. Im sure theyre twins. I cooked them and birthed them." And for the record I get "Your girls are so pretty" all the time. I just tell myself it's their white blond hair and bright blue eyes. But come and brown dump truck shirts on a girl usually holding a dinosaur and football?!?!

  2. All three of my boys were born with a FULL head of dark hair. They couldn't look more like boys from birth, and I constantly get the girl comment. I think people just don't pay attention. Though I have to say, having a dumb chic argue with you about the gender of your child just might take the cake. Man, people are crazy!!!