Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Time Out

So I finally got around to using a gift certificate for a prenatal -- that's right, PRENATAL -- massage that my mother-in-law had given me back in April.  Seeing as I never used it while I was pregnant, I fished it out of my drawer and booked an appointment for an hour of sheer bliss.  The problem is that I'm never any good at actually relaxing during a spa treatment.  While I do love massages (who doesn't?), I can rarely manage to close my eyes and completely clear my head of everything.  I'm the same way with yoga.  I love taking a class that's fast-paced with a lot of sweat and challenging poses. But put me in a room with a bunch of people meditating and chanting "om" and I can't find my "happy place" to save my life. 
So while James, my massage "technician" was working his magic, here are some of the thoughts that ran through my brain...

* Did I remember to shower today? Check.  Shave?  Check.
* Great, now I'm going to have to take another shower to get this greasy massage oil off myself. 
* Am I wearing the right underwear for this?
* Should I stop at Maggie Moo's on the way home for some ice cream? I mean, I know I should be detoxing after this massage but who puts an ice cream parlor next to a spa? It's going to be tough to resist.  They have Heath Bar topping!
* What will Mackenzie wear for Christmas?
* Should I be getting her gifts even though she won't know the difference and will just want to eat the wrapping paper anyway?
* Maybe I should start working again so that I can pay for treatments like this.
* Oops, I forgot to tell James that my feet are ticklish.  I guess he'll figure it out for himself when I accidentally kick him in the face.
* Is James thinking, "Damn, she looks good for having had a baby six months ago" or is he asking himself why I haven't been able to shed those last few pregnancy pounds? (Oh right, Maggie Moo's)
* Why do they make you lie face down during these things? I'm going to leave here with an imprint on my face from being glued to this head hole.  
* Why do these therapists insist on giving you a face massage? Good thing I didn't wear any makeup, or else I'd have lipstick on my forehead right now.  Am I going to break out from this? This is why I don't get facials.
* Am I going to spray milk across the room once I get up off this table? God, I seriously hope not. Why didn't I leave my bra on and wear nursing pads? 
* What will my next blog be about?
* What do I need from the grocery store?
* Am I going to do anything embarrassing during this massage?
* Did Mackenzie ever take the bottle she was refusing when I left the house?
* Will she sleep tonight?
* Does she miss me?
* So this is what it's like to be free from a baby for an hour... what else can I get done before I head home?
* God, this guy is good.  Even with all this stuff going through my mind I can feel the tension slipping away...
* I hope this massage never ends.  Namaste. 

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