Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Oh, The Irony

With colder temperatures on the horizon it's only a matter of time before my stroller fitness group moves inside for the winter. 
Today's class was held at the mall due to rain.  As I jogged in the herd of mothers, passing the appliance department of Sears along the way, I wondered how I'd survive the next several months of indoor classes. 
See... the mall we work out at is relatively quiet; aside from a handful of stores that have managed to defy an economy that's in the dumps, the place has basically gone dark. 
What kills me is the fact that two of the businesses that are still standing are Auntie Anne's and Victoria's Secret. 
Oh, the irony! 

Here's a group of moms, literally working their asses off sprinting around a mall, and we're tortured by the delicious and delectable aromas wafting from the pretzel place only to then be tormented by a life-size poster of Gisele showing off her flawless post-baby body in a dental floss thong. 
Well...you know what? 
That ain't right! 
You know you want a pretzel, Gisele!

It got me thinking about countless other ironic situations I've found myself in recently.
For example... 
Where are all the "Mothers With Young Children" parking spaces I salivated over when I was pregnant, longing for the day I'd be able to use one?
I found ONE at BJ's Wholesale the other day and could hardly contain my excitement until I realized that some jackass with a Corvette and NO CHILD had parked in it. 
That ain't right! 
Or what about the fact that you spend months praying your baby will one day sleep through the night, only to find that when they finally do you're up half the time anyway either 1) pumping breast milk because your boobs are about to explode or 2) worrying that your child has buried herself in the crib bumpers and is suffocating to death. 
That ain't right! 
And riddle me this: How is it that I go into the office on Monday, work nine hours, get my finished product on TELEVISION, and leave with MORE MONEY in my pocket than I started with, BUT compared to a full day with Mackenzie, WORK (IN THE CONVENTIONAL SENSE) was like a week-long vacation at a five-star resort AND a full day with Mackenzie earns me neither fame nor fortune.  
Maybe in my next life I'll be an iconic lingerie model who has magical powers that allow me to eat as many cinnamon sugar pretzels as I want without gaining an ounce.  Until then I'll accept the fact that in order to step IN to my skinny jeans, I must step AWAY from fast food and lace up my sneakers... that a good parking space is hard to come by and the extra walking will do me good... that I have countless sleepless nights ahead of me and I should just be happy my baby is sleeping NOW... and that most of my payments these days are rendered in giggles and hugs, which are pretty freakin' awesome.  So, come to think of it... ain't life grand? 

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