Friday, July 22, 2011

Meet Mackenzie

Hi.  I'm Mackenzie.
You already know my Mommy.  So I'm sure you know how great crazy she is.
Don't get me wrong.  She's super fun and takes really good care of me.
But sometimes she's just... well, insane!

She's always trying to give me new foods.  Food is supposed to help me be strong and grow up real big.  
But I just want to eat hot dogs all day long! Who wouldn't want hot dogs? They're delicious!
I like fruit and chocolate.  And I really like cheese.  Cheese makes me say "yum" and I could eat it all the time.  But Mommy says I need to eat other things besides cheese.  So she gives me things like broccoli and beans.  I like beans a lot.  They make me toot and that makes me laugh so beans are funny I think.
When I don't like something I give it back to Mommy.  That seems to make the most sense to me.  But it gets her really, really frustrated.  What else am I supposed to do with the food that I don't like? I think it's nicer to give it back to her than to throw it on the floor.  She doesn't like when I throw it on the floor.
Mommy has all kinds of really cool toys and books for me to play with.
I'm learning a lot, too.  Like, I've learned how to say "no" really well.
If I don't want something I say "NO" and Mommy will learn that I don't want it.
But this makes her roll her eyes.  CRAZY EYES.  So I'm not too sure she likes when I say it.
I can also say "bye bye" and "up".  Up is when Mommy holds me and I like that a lot.
Sometimes she says "no" when I say "up" which confuses me because "up" is my favorite place.  I like it when Mommy holds me even though I like to walk around, too.  I like walking so much that sometimes I can't stop.  That's when Mommy usually says "bed time" which I don't like.  So then I keep saying "bye bye" and "up" hoping it will distract her.
We read lots of books together, Mommy and me.  I like "The Going To Bed Book," even though I never like going to bed! That's pretty silly.  Why is there a book about going to bed anyway? That's not fun.  I do like the pictures though.  The animals brush their teeth all together.  I don't like brushing my teeth so much.  But I do like sucking on the toothpaste.  It's really fruity and I like fruit.
Those rhinoceroses in the book are pretty funny when they're exercising in their pajamas! I didn't know animals wore pajamas.  And I think it's weird that they exercise anyway.  Aren't rhinos supposed to be fat?
Mommy ALWAYS talks about getting fat.  That's when Daddy tells her she's crazy.
Whenever we have to go out somewhere that's not the grocery store or Target, Mommy gets all frustrated and Daddy has to take me out of the closet so I stop eating Mommy's shoes.  She says she needs "a moment to THINK".
I don't really understand why she has to THINK in the closet.  Seems pretty easy to me.  You put on a shirt and pants and POOF... you're dressed and we can go have fun.
But Mommy always says she hates her clothes and hates how they fit now.  I think that has something to do with me, but I can't quite figure it out.
I like when she doesn't wear ANY clothes.  Then I can pinch her boobies and it's funny.
She tells me not to do it but it makes her laugh so I keep doing it anyway.
When we DO go out someplace that's not the grocery store or Target it's usually a restaurant.  I have to sit in a chair that isn't my own.
There are always lots of fun things to play with on the table.  Like sharp things that Mommy quickly takes away from me.
Why is she always taking things from me?  I like shiny sharp things. Shiny sharp things are funny.
So are tablecloths.  It's really silly when I try to pull them off the table.
Tables are for eating at, not for banging on.  I like to bang on them with my hands to make music for everyone in the restaurant.  I think those people like my music.  But Mommy and Daddy always say "Shhh, Mackenzie." So I think I'm banging too loud.
It's funny when they get mad.  Because then everyone looks at THEM and laughs and I laugh too.
We spend a lot of time at home laughing.  Like when I play music and dance.  I twirl around so much I get dizzy and can't walk straight.  Then I fall but Mommy and Daddy always say "you're okay" even when I'm not.  I think they're trying to trick me.  But then I just cry and after awhile they come give me a hug.  And that's all I really want is a hug.  So my trick works.  That's why I keep doing it.
If you keep crying someone will come and hug you.  And hugs are great!
I like giving my dolly hugs.  I give her kisses, too.  Kisses are when you put your lips together and go "mmmwah".  The dolly is really pretty and I like to eat her hair.  Mommy tells me "no" so I just do it when she's not looking. 
I have lots of hair now so I don't look like a boy.  My hair is curly like Mommy's.  I don't like when she has to clean it though.  I don't like the water on my head.  It gets into my ears in the bath and Mommy says it's because I don't sit down in the tub.  But I like to stand and walk around and help Mommy water the plant by the bath.  It needs lots of water to grow really big... like me!
Mommy and Daddy say pretty soon I'll be all grown up.  Hopefully by then I'll be tall enough to reach the washing machine.  I try really hard to climb into it but then Mommy says "no" so that's when I stop and help her with the laundry.  Laundry is clothes that are dirty and then get clean.  I help Mommy with the clothes she folds.  They're really straight and I throw them in the air to help her get the wrinkles out. The other day when Mommy was doing the laundry she threw her bra up in the air because that usually makes me laugh.  But it got caught in the ceiling fan and I cried because I thought it was hurt. 
I like to help Mommy in the kitchen.  I'm good at organizing things... like the Tupperware cabinet.  Tupperware comes in all shapes and sizes and there are lids that go "vroom" across the floor like race cars.  Sometimes I organize the dish towels, too.  I like to put them over my head so Mommy says, "Where is Mackenzie?" and I pretend not to be there but then I show her my face.  She thinks this is funny so I keep doing it until I get bored and want to do something else.
I like the sponge.  It tastes spongy.
I helped Grandma fluff the pillows the other day.  That was fun because it made a silly noise.  Hitting is okay if you're doing it to the pillows.  They don't get hurt.  They get fluffed!
I don't like when Mommy cleans with the vacuum.   It's really loud and scary.  Mommy says it gets the fuzzies out of the carpet but I like the fuzzies.  They taste good so I don't understand why Mommy has to suck them up with the vacuum.
Watching Mommy push the scary vacuum is still better than when she isn't home with me.
I get scared when she goes out without me and I cry and cry hoping she won't go.  Sometimes I scream because screaming usually gets me what I want.  But she still goes out sometimes alone, like to the doctor.  She always says she's coming back and she always does come back just like she told me.  But what if she doesn't come back? Then I would be really sad.  I want to be with her all the time.
Even though she's crazy,  like when she pretends the shopping cart is a fast car and she says "beep beep!" and people in the store stare at us.  Mommy thinks this is a fun game but I think she's embarrassing.  I don't want to hurt her feelings so I don't cry but I really wish she'd stop doing it.
You know what else is embarrassing? How crazy Mommy wears her hair.  It's always bouncing on the top of her head in a ball.  Sometimes the ball falls to one side and she looks really silly.  I like to touch her hair and laugh.  She thinks I'm being cute but I'm really making fun of her.
I make fun of the way she talks, too. Mommy is REALLY loud so sometimes when I'm bored I'm really loud like her.  She says "shhh" but she doesn't stop being loud herself.  I don't think she understands that I'm just doing what she does.   When she tells me to stop I just say "no" because that's what she says to me.
I get really excited when Daddy comes home from work.  Mommy is always really happy to see him, too.  And I like when he puts me to bed.  He smells good and wears a tie.  Ties are pretty and shiny.
When Mommy goes to work I get to stay home with Daddy.  We play a lot and I like to play the drums on his belly.  Sometimes he takes me to IHOP and that's where they have pancakes.  I don't really like pancakes even though Daddy says they're delicious.  Sometimes Mommy and I go to visit Daddy at work.  He puts me on his lap and lets me type on his computer.  I feel like a big kid which is really cool. 
My favorite time of day is right before bed.  Even though I don't like going into my crib because the crib means I can't play anymore.  I get to cuddle with Mommy and drink my milk and she rubs my head.  It feels really nice and sometimes I'll pretend to fall asleep on her because then I don't have to go into my crib right away.  I can feel Mommy's heartbeat and that reminds me of when I was a baby and used to sleep on her chest all the time.  Now I'm bigger and I don't do that so much.  I miss it.  And Mommy misses it, too.  I heard her tell that to Daddy one time.  He said there's no better feeling in the world.  But I think the best feeling now is when I run to Mommy and wrap my arms around her neck.  We give each other a big squeeze and she tells me she loves me.  Then I go "mmmwah" for kisses and she kisses me back.  It makes me so happy that I keep running away so I can turn around and run back for more. 

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