Food For Thought

I'm starting to worry that my OCD is getting in the way of Mackenzie's development.  
Yeah, I've relaxed a bit when it comes to order in the house. 
I no longer have a minor panic attack if the plantation shutters are in disarray after Mackenzie has moved them up and down.
I've given up on the notion that my house will remain spotless at all times. 
And although I still feel like I'm constantly tackling piles of laundry that never end, I don't feel the need to do five loads a day just so that the hamper remains empty. 

Exception To The Rule

There are certain things that mothers can get away with just simply because they're moms and -- as moms -- they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. 
How are you bending the rules? 

Mommy Lobotomy

If you're a mother, chances are you've at one point or another blamed your chronic lunacy on "mommy brain", the relentless mental condition that plagues all moms at one point or another. 
In the ten months since Mackenzie was born I've lost my mind a million different ways.
It started as a rather innocuous condition. 
I mean, anyone can forget a baby, right??? 
Isn't it like failing to set your alarm or pick up orange juice at the grocery store?
OK, maybe not... but still... New moms are sleep-deprived and panic-stricken.  A true recipe for disaster. 
During the first few months of Mackenzie's life I had minor anxiety attacks each time I got into the car, fearing that I'd forgotten the baby at home in her crib. 
Or that I'd left the car seat on the floor of the garage with Mackenzie flailing inside.
Other early "mommy brain" symptoms include: washing your hair with conditioner, wearing two different color socks, and brushing your teeth with acne cream instead of toothpaste.  
But "mommy brain" only gets worse over time. 

Life Lessons

There are some nights where I pour myself a glass of wine, put my feet up, and applaud myself for what I taught Mackenzie that day.  
But when all is said and done it's my daughter who's taught me a thing or two. 
Like....


* No matter how many times you fall down, get back up and try again. 
* Life is better barefoot. 
* You can forget all your troubles at the playground. 
* Likewise, splashing in the bath can relieve a lot of tension. 
* When you feel full, stop eating. (I know this will last only until Mackenzie is able to go to a ball game and down a hot dog, popcorn, cotton candy, and ice cream in a matter of minutes.) 
* The louder you cry the more attention you get. (Sad, but true.)
* Never be afraid to try something new. 
* Imagination is greater than knowledge. 
* Having a) gas in public b) chubby thighs or c) boogers in your hair is only charming if you're still in diapers.  
* No one will ever love you quite like your parents do.

Ten for Ten

In honor of Mackenzie's 10 month birthday I thought I'd toast myself for reaching the following mommy milestones... 

* This weekend I finally allowed Doug to walk on our white carpet wearing shoes, only because it was that important to grab the Boogie Wipes from the nursery, stat!
As Doug observed, this was a major turning point for me.

OCD, Yeah You Know Me

A few weeks ago I actually thought that my OCD tendencies were under control after I allowed Mackenzie to put her grimy little paws all over my sliding glass door.
It doesn't even phase me anymore when she slobbers on every major appliance in our house, leaving streaks of saliva in her wake.
The fact that I don't lunge for the Windex with mach speed is a small miracle.
But I don't think I've actually lost my crazy, I think I've just rearranged it for the time being. 

Cash or Credit?

Everyone tells you that having a baby weighs down your wallet but -- rest assured -- you won't notice the change for awhile. 

This is definitely true. 

Initially a baby is relatively inexpensive, especially if you're nursing and don't have to pay for formula.  Aside from diapers and wipes and a hodgepodge of useless crap that various baby books INSIST that you buy, a newborn typically won't break your budget. 

Then one day... WHAM, BAM... You have a real human being who's growing, and this baby gets pretty expensive pretty fast. 

You're suddenly spending more without even realizing where your money is going. 

Diapers get pricier the bigger they get. 

You can't seem to keep the pantry stocked with enough jars of Vegetable Turkey Dinner to feed an army. 

The introduction of table food results in some gag-inducing diaper changes which result in an excessive use of baby wipes.