You Know You're The Mother of a Toddler When...

* You find cups of sour milk hidden around your house
* Random household items suddenly go missing
* It's Elmo's world and you're just living in it
* You stress about the cost of preschool
* Your next biggest investment is under eye concealer
* The time has come to check your potty mouth at the door
* You've mastered the art of steering while shoving various snacks and toys back towards the car seat
* Public tantrums no longer bother you; in fact, you've had quite a few yourself
* You chuckle at the frantic and frightened parents-to-be roaming around Babies R' Us and Buy Buy Baby, all the while wishing you could tell them not to waste any more money baby-proofing and that a couple of falls down the stairs won't cause too much harm
* You've learned that you can stockpile all the Wet Wipes in the universe and still end up with a snotty-nose kid
* You're not the only one saying "No" these days
* Your house has been transformed into a jungle gym
* Your weekly grocery bill has increased substantially in the last several months
* Everything that was once yours is now theirs; just today I had to share my breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even my shower
* You've come to learn that the "Terrible Twos" can strike months before the second birthday 
* Being all alone at the soft play room on a rainy afternoon is your equivalent of hitting the jackpot 
* You can be teetering on the verge of tears and your child will do something that makes you laugh until you do actually cry... Like when Mackenzie made me kiss both of her hands today.  NO JOKE.  
* It's become second nature to refer to that glass of wine/cup of tea/can of soda as "Mommy's special juice."
* You end each day wondering how your little blob of a baby suddenly turned all grown up.