Sunday, February 26, 2012

10 Reasons My Kid Needs a Longer Attention Span

I get it. 
She's not even two. 
I should appreciate the fact that she's still able to sit (relatively) still in the stroller while I exercise for an hour every day.
But would it kill Mackenzie to be interested in something for at least the amount of time it takes to fold a load of laundry?
I sometimes fantasize about how much different my life would be if she would just stop and smell the roses.  Or maybe just one... One. Single. Rose.
Here are 10 reasons why she needs a longer attention span... stat! 

1) So I could pee in peace.

2) So I could stop spending money on things that become passé before I even get to the register to pay for them.

3) So that my go-to distraction isn't the TV.

4) So that for once I could capture a picture of Mackenzie enjoying something rather than moving on to the next shiny object mid-shot.

5) So I could get through a day without bending over to pick up 724,604 messes.

6) So nap time went down a bit more smoothly.

7) So bedtime didn't involve 16 different changes to how the blanket was situated. (This is merely a stall tactic, I'm sure.)

8) So potty training would involve actually sitting on the toilet for more than three seconds before hopping off.

9) So she stops walking into things, crying, running away to play again, and walking into other things.

10) So that Doug and I can read her an entire book -- cover to cover -- without being left curled up on the floor proclaiming to one another, "... but not the hippopotamus!"