Monday, May 23, 2011

Attack of The Killer SAHM

Listen - If you're going to judge me based on this story, so be it... I'm all out of fight for today. 

I met a friend for lunch a few hours ago in a busy neighborhood not far from my house. 
Lunch time + bustling neighborhood = difficulty finding parking. 
After driving around for a bit I saw a mother toting a toddler who was headed for her car. 
This mom -- a fellow SAHM, I presumed -- was rushing to get to her parking space but had a bit of a hard time finding her keys.  I waited, and waited, all the while sympathizing with the woman as she searched the abyss that was her diaper bag.  
When she finally located her keys, put the toddler in the car seat, and turned the ignition I looked in my rear view mirror and put the car in reverse to give her space to exit her spot. 

There was a young guy in a BMW immediately behind me and it was clear that he didn't intend to give us much space.  
I slowly let my car back up... then hit the brake. 
Slowly, I backed up a little more... and the guy slammed on his horn. 
I waited a few seconds, hoping he would either go around me or back up and give me some breathing room. 
By this point there was no one waiting behind him and he could've easily cooperated. 
But no.  This guy was determined to take my spot. 
As the woman in the space looked out her window to see what was going on I contemplated giving up and continuing to circle the lot.  But by that point Mackenzie had started screaming from the back seat and I was determined to claim what was rightfully mine. Fair and square.
I inched the car back as far as I could go without hitting the BMW. 
Again, the guy honked at me. 
What was his problem??? 
I decided I had no choice but to find out. 
I got out of my car and asked if he was going to be kind enough to give me some room to let this woman with the toddler out of her parking spot. 
He shrugged, "No," with a look that said, "Why should I?"
So I asked again, "You're not going to back up your car so that I can let her get out of her spot?"
"No.  You can go around her."
"Well, I'm trying to park in this space," I said. 
"You can look for another spot," he informed me with an arrogant stare. 
Well that just set me off.  
There were expletives shouted... and then more expletives.  
And I was so enraged that I thought steam would start coming out of my ears.
And the entire time I was spewing venom, this guy just sat there completely defiant, determined to break me into a million tiny pieces and send me off defeated. 
I could hear my own mother telling me to let it go, find another spot, no matter how long it took or how loudly Mackenzie was screaming.  
It wasn't worth this guy keying my car, slashing my tires, or -- God forbid -- something worse. 
But I wasn't going to let this hotshot asshole push me around just because he thought he was better. Just because I was some crazy housewife passing the time going to lunch with a girlfriend. 
In so many words I told the guy what I thought of him, got back into my car, and moved as close as I could get to his front fender without hitting him.  
The poor woman with the toddler waiting to get out of her parking space was probably relieved to find that I'd finished my rant and had given her enough room to back up.  
Once I finally got into the spot I realized it was insanely narrow and that I would have to flatten myself to the size of a small pancake in order to get out my door. 
I was still shaking by the time I got to the restaurant.  And while in hindsight it probably wasn't my best moment as a mother, it felt good not to let the idiot frat boy bully me around.  
So a word to the wise -- You may have the time and the freedom to sit defiantly in a crowded parking lot trying to prove that you're all that and then some... But beware of the SAHMs.  Especially when we have a screaming child in tow. 

No comments:

Post a Comment