Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A Mommy Is Made Goes Gray

The other day I found two -- TWO! -- gray hairs.
Today I found another two.
Seeing as the most experimentation I've done with my hair extends to using some Sun In spray at the beach, I'm nowhere near ready to start coloring.
I'll be 32 in April and it seems premature for me to start going gray.
So I started wondering if these little white strands were really a sign of aging or if becoming a mother has had something to do with it.

I've certainly been under some stress, what with all the poop explosions, tooth eruptions, and Mackenzie's general frustration over the fact that she can't yet crawl.
But a part of me also worries that I'm just becoming old... as in, my parents old.
Yeah, I can still hang out on New Year's Eve until 2 a.m. but the time it takes me to bounce back in the morning over the next three days is just plain sad. 
Here are some signs that I'm no longer the spring chicken I used to be...

* The other day I almost complained to the sales associate at Forever 21 about the music being too loud. (This, clearly, is a sign that I should no longer be shopping there.)
* A few months ago a teenage boy who was obviously trying to show off for his friends peered into my car window while I was stopped at a traffic light.  He told me I was beautiful.  A year ago I would have taken this as a compliment.  Now, all I could think was, "Tuck in your shirt and pull up your pants. You look like a fool."
* I can no longer view episodes of Law & Order: SVU without worrying that there's a child predator in my neighborhood and that I should lock Mackenzie indoors as long as humanly possible.
* I find myself watching Jersey Shore wondering, "What must Snooki's parents think?" (But who am I to judge? She has a book deal and I do not.)
* Years ago I loved to dress up in skimpy outfits and go out with friends.  But on Halloween, as I watched scantily-clad tweens canvass the neighborhood I thought to myself, "How did your mother let you out of the house looking like that?"
* I don't understand any of the lyrics to Ke$ha's songs. 
* After recently seeing a preview for MTV's new series, Skins, I was: 1) worried for all the world's youth 2) embarrassed by the fact that I had no idea if those were two girls or two guys kissing 3) longing for a time when My So-Called Life and The Real World were considered groundbreaking. 
* The other night Doug and I had a dinner date... at 5:30 p.m.
* Everywhere I go now, I'm called "ma'am."
* I complained that Doug was driving too fast the other day, when in fact he was going 5 miles per hour UNDER the speed limit. 

1 comment:

  1. I don't think you're old. I think you have a sleep debt, the cumulative effects of motherhood.