Buckle Up

A pregnant friend recently lamented - on Facebook, naturally - that she couldn't enjoy the thrill of a roller coaster ride now that she's expecting.
Well, there are a lot of things you can't do when you're "with child"... like... drink alcohol, eat sushi, or - at a certain point - see your toes. 
But that all pales in comparison to the many joys of pregnancy... acid reflux, back pain, a perpetual state of tiredness. 
OK... maybe I'm being a little too dramatic honest here. 
The point is that after nine ten months of waddling around feeling like all eyes are on your swollen feet and your protruding belly, out comes a beautiful, innocent baby who just takes your breath away. 
But pregnancy and motherhood are indeed a roller coaster ride in and of themselves. 
THE ROLLER COASTER RIDE OF A LIFETIME.  


You'll scream in fear. 
You'll shriek with delight. 
You'll sometimes vomit.
And as the speed increases you'll grab on for dear life to the person sitting next to you, riding to great heights and into the unexpected.
This has been an incredible year for me.
I've been up... 
I've been down... 
And each time the ride ends I want to go back for more, as frightening and overwhelming as it may be. 
Here is A Mommy Is Made's year in review... 


January - What I Loved About It...
It's a girl! How do we know for sure? According to the ultrasound technician, "Her legs are spread wide open.  It's definitely a girl."  Hear that? That's the sound of the father-to-be falling off his chair and hitting the ground.  On the drive home he made a mental note to buy a shotgun and swore he wasn't letting his daughter out of the house until she graduated from med school.
The low point... 
It's a girl??? Holy crap, we're doomed.


February - What I Loved About It...
Spending the night at the Bellagio for an Obama trip and playing roulette all night while rubbing my pregnant belly for good luck.  Granted, I got exactly one hour of sleep before I had to be back at work and a few people looked at me suspiciously as I walked around the smoke-filled casino, but hey, it was my first time in Vegas! 
The low point...
Wearing maternity pants on Valentine's Day. How. Very. Sexy. 


March - What I Loved About It... 

Road tripping it to New Jersey for my baby shower, where I got a chance to catch up with old friends and listen to advice from all the moms in my family.  This was right around the time Mackenzie started REALLY kicking and poking her little elbows out of my stomach.  I finally felt like there was really a person in there... or an alien.  Either way it was super cool. 
The low point... 
St. Patrick's Day.  I don't even remember what I did... and that USED to be a good thing. 


April - What I Loved About It... 

Mom checks out my belly between races...

Celebrating my birthday at the racetrack and winning big (must have been all that belly rubbing!) Joining me were my parents, in-laws, and of course, Doug. 
The low point... 
Getting cash from my husband on my birthday. Don't get me wrong, he had only the best intentions, thinking I'd love to have some "free money" to bet on the horses. But a wave of hormones washed over me that morning and I likened the gesture to paying for a prostitute.  Oh, poor, poor Doug.  

May - What I Loved About It... Attending the White House Correspondents' Dinner with Doug (yeah, it didn't hurt having my picture taken with Bradley Cooper - meow!) Since I couldn't have any real fun drink, I decided to order an O'Doul's during the cocktail hour.  Well, that was probably not the best idea.  The sight of a pregnant woman walking around with a beer in her hand - even a non-alcoholic one - sends onlookers into a tizzy.  One woman snarled as if she'd caught me smoking crack while jumping on a trampoline. 
The low point... 
Bradley Cooper? Taking a picture? With me? This is just fabulous... except for the part where I look and feel like a beached whale and my shoes keep popping off because my feet are the size of watermelons.  Thanks, BC, for being such a great sport. I'm sorry I'm sweating all over you.  Good thing Jessica Alba was there to take a picture with my husband and make me feel REALLY sexy.  (Picture not included, for obvious reasons!) 


June - What I Loved About It... - Deliriously tending to our newborn daughter for five days in a hospital room overcrowded with family, friends, and nosey lactation consultants. 
The low point... 
Doug having to hoist me onto the toilet the first time I peed after the catheter was removed. Again, poor, poor Doug. 
Oh... and labor pains.  Yeah... poor, poor women everywhere. YEOWWWWWWW! If I had to ask one more time where the "fucking anesthesiologist" was with the "fucking epidural" I think I would've killed someone. Good thing when she finally arrived her cell phone went off... And the ring tone was the sound of dogs barking... And she ANSWERED it!!!  As if she was at Starbucks ordering a fucking latte and had all the time in the world. It wasn't like I was sitting there, perched on the side of a hospital bed, clawing at the nurse and my husband hoping this bowling ball inside my uterus wouldn't erupt prematurely.   


July- What I Loved About It...

You think there are enough of us?

Mackenzie getting to meet her "West Coast" family and being nuzzled and spoiled by all her aunts and cousins. 
The low point... 
No. Sleep. At. All. By July the novelty had already worn off from the first month at home with a new baby when we were still in our "honeymoon" phase.
NO... By July we were finally parents. And it was a slap in the face. 


August - What I Loved About It...
BBQs and an excuse to dress Mackenzie in some seriously cute summer clothes.
The low point... 
The heat made it nearly impossible to take an infant out of the house on most days.  Hello, cabin fever! 

Too cool for school

September - What I Loved About It...
Two firsts: Mackenzie goes to the ballpark and Mackenzie rides over the hills and through the turnpike to grandma and grandpa's house.
The low point... 
Having to stop on the turnpike to feed a hungry, screaming baby. Luckily we've found that things get easier (sort of... I tried some "back seat nursing" on the way to see my folks for Christmas. Not a great idea if you have small-ish boobies and your husband has to slam on the breaks to avoid a collision).


October - What I Loved About It...
A week-long trip to see my family and enjoy Mackenzie's first Halloween.  We spent a day in Red Bank where my sister and brother-in-law just bought a house.  The highlight of the day - for me at least - was taking Mackenzie to Jay and Silent Bob's store on the main strip in town.  It was there that my sweet, ladylike daughter let out the biggest, wettest sounding fart I've ever heard.  The few customers shopping around the store stared at us in amazement, presumably wondering how I could let one rip like that in public.  
The low point... 
Apparently all the excitement was a little too much for the baby.  She was up at all hours of the night once we returned home.  Fortunately that only lasted a week.  It was this fiasco that prompted us to start sleep training. (Don't let anyone ever tell you it's easy. Sleep training is not for sissies.) 


November - What I Loved About It...
Finally... She's sleeping through the night!
Finally... I can fit into my skinny jeans!
The low point... 
As cynical as I am, there is NO low point when your baby is sleeping through the night... Or when you can fit back into your skinny jeans! 

December - What I Loved About It... Mackenzie's first Christmas.  She was the life of the party and got to spend time with lots of family members. Mom's delicious meal didn't hurt either. 
The low point(s)... 
* Changing a banana poop diaper in the car at a rest stop in the middle of a snow storm the day after Christmas. Why I didn't go inside and use a changing table in the women's room is beyond me.  Doug and I were practically gagging from the stench coming from that diaper, and my back is still sore from hunching over a wriggling baby sprawled out on the passenger seat trying to eat her own poo.
* The guy at Toys "R" Us who just today pointed to Mackenzie and told me - without a hint of hesitation - "Petite she is NOT." At least he followed up with, "You have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!" I'm now boycotting Toys "R" Us for the rest of my life.
* The fact that today it took me five minutes to figure out what was wrong with this sentence: "I have toilet paste on my shirt and need to restock the tooth paper."


So a toast to everyone who's had a baby in 2010 or is expecting in 2011 (hopefully, for your sake, you don't fit into both categories!) Here's to a wonderful new year filled with love, laughter, and a whole lot of learning.  Buckle up... it's gonna be a crazy ride!
* A note to readers: If you've been enjoying A Mommy Is Made please "follow" our blog. We're looking to gain some more supporters in 2011.  Thanks, and enjoy your new year's celebrations safely!*